Worst Song Ever?
The Son, the 6,000 Book Owner Dad and I were at the beach today. While there, a trio of girls were listening to their iPods, and one started singing Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl.” I do not think that is the worst song ever, it’s super-catchy, in fact, but I can’t fathom actually choosing to listen to it on an iPod (and then listening to Tony Orlando & Dawn’s “Knock Three Times”!)
But it led me to wonder–what is the worst song ever? For me, it would have to be Paul Anka’s “Having My Baby,” but that is because he is Canadian, Canada has a Canadian content law that says a certain percentage of songs played on the radio have to be from Canadian artists, and my family and I were traveling through Canada the summer it was out. Ergo, I heard it once every ten minutes for a month.
Of course, that is a personal moment in time colored by the agony of traveling with my family hearing a song I despised; a priori (have I mentioned I [heart] Kant?) what are the worst songs ever?
There are bands I dislike; Violent Femmes, Fine Young Cannibals, Four Seasons (Frankie Valli’s voice makes my skin crawl), Journey, Rush (like fingernails on a chalkboard), and Abba.
But I can’t think of specific songs; “You Light Up My Life,” “Feelings,” and “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” are all up there, but are they the worst?
What’s your nomination for the worst?
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July 26th, 2007 at 12:34 am
There are plenty of bad songs because of bad performances or uncomfortable contexts (I’m with you on Rush and Journey and would add Boston and Kansas to the mix).
But often the songs themselves could be okay. If I had been limited to only one airing of “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano, I don’t think I’d loathe it as I do.
But a song that’s actually a bad song because it misses its purpose is, I think, the national anthem of the U.S.A. because of its impossible range and warbly waltz.
don’t hate me
July 26th, 2007 at 1:01 am
Great. I could have lived without ever thinking of the song ‘you light up my life’ again. I had to learn it for piano. Ugh.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy Now. Yeah dumbass, it’s that easy. Sorry, makes me angry.
Hello by Lionel Richie. Painful.
And ABBA ROCKS!!!
Cindy
July 26th, 2007 at 8:06 am
Four Seasons (Frankie Valli’s voice makes my skin crawl)–yuck–me too
My first thought was Feelings, my second anything by Marty Robbins or Buck Owens.
I wonder how one decides to put Rick Springfield and TO&D on their iPod?
July 26th, 2007 at 8:27 am
Hey, Frampton, I have Jessie’s Girl on my iPod, as well as Dancing Queen, and MacArthur’s Park! I personally hate Having My Baby because of the use of the word “My”. Not having “Our” Baby. The little woman is doing it all for him. Which is why PA and his wife have like 5 girls, because they kept trying for a boy.
July 26th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Ohhhh…Megan, you did NOT go there, girlfriend. The 11th Commandment…”Thou Shalt Not Dis Rick Springfield in a Public Forum.” LOL!! Not only do I have “Jessie’s Girl” on my MP3 (sorry, I don’t iPod, I’m a Creative Zen person), but I have every song and every album he’s ever written, including his 70s album, “Speak to the Sky” and his most recent release “The Day Before Yesterday.”
And for the record, he’ll be 58 on August 23rd and still looks HOT to me.
Hugs and love,
Marley = )
July 26th, 2007 at 10:56 am
My Heart will go on by Celine Dion is clearly the world’s worst song since it came from the world’s worst movie ever, Titanic. James Cameron has as a lot to answer for.
July 26th, 2007 at 10:58 am
The entire Air Supply catalog. You can’t pick just one, they’re all hideous.
July 26th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
“My Heart will go on by Celine Dion is clearly the world’s worst song”
Have to agree with Elizabeth here. But then there is also that horrible Nickelback song about the photograph (okay, O could have stopped after “horrible Nickelback song”)…
BTW, Megan, thanks a LOT for making crappy songs stick in my head today!
July 26th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I have a couple of Rick Springfield songs on my iPod also. My kids love Jessie’s Girl. On one of my birthdays (can’t remember which) I picked up one of his greatest hits albums and listened to it in the van. I had the best time listening to that album.
I don’t particulary like Paul Anka’s Having my Baby. Makes me want to run out and take a pregnancy test! I’m trying to remember what songs make me turn the radio off, but I’m having a pre-menopausal moment.
July 26th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
Seriously, do NOT dis The Violent Femmes. I have every single one of their cds, and if I had an iPod, every song would be on it. I heart Gordon Ganno.
Next you’ll say you hate The Smiths, in which case, I may stop reading your blog.
Okay - that settled, worst song ever? Hands down, every single song Heart ever recorded. Are their more strident women in the music biz?
July 26th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
You know, I think it’s all context; for example, I would despise Paul Anka a smidge less if I hadn’t heard him SO MUCH during a particular period of my life. Same, Tracy, as the Violent Femmes; they blared out of every room in my college dorm, including my next-door neighbor, who was a snooty guy who disliked me.
I think Air Supply and Kansas are pretty terrible, too. And Celine Dion, I’m right there with you, EKM.
Sorry for tromping on your love, Marley.
No offense meant to anyone! And I definitely like a few Smiths songs, Tracy.
July 26th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Good grief! What IS it about “Jesse’s Girl”? My morning drive time radio program played it over and over and over this morning. It was completely and totally stuck in my head.
In prep school, my roommate for three years was addicted to Journey, Air Supply, Kansas, and Wham! Gack. I don’t think I can choose a single song from one of those bands to nominate as my worst, but somehow all of those bands qualify for worsiness.
July 27th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Funny how personal music is, isn’t it? Let me put on my flameproof suit and say that I’m with Megan on “Jesse’s Girl”.
I’m Canadian and she’s totally right about the Canadian Content radio rules, hence most Canadians under 40 break out in hives at the sound of Bryan Adams (gawd!), Celine Dion, Tom Cochrane, Rush, and other hideoso Canadian acts. We were heartily sick of Alanis Morrissette for a long time, too.
Still, for my money, nothing beats the sheer vomitousness of REO Speedwagon. You know something is really bad when IT SOUNDED BAD IN 1984.
July 27th, 2007 at 11:10 am
PS Megan - I tagged you on my music meme today!
July 27th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
I’m surprised you heard that Paul Anka song so many times as it was out in the mid-70’s and the CanCon rules (that stipulated 30% Canadian content had to be played on radio stations) didn’t come into effect until the 80’s. Ergo, it must have been just a damn popular song. *cringe*
Okay - worst songs ever in my book?
Who Let the Dogs Out
Don’t Worry Be Happy
Livin La Vida Loca
Anything by Neil Sedaca
Can’t remember the name, but it’s got that line “A little bit of Monica in my life…” and goes on to name a bunch of girls.
And finally - the entire repetoire of the Bay City Rollers.
July 29th, 2007 at 1:10 am
“Been Through the Desert on a Horse with No Name” by America
“American Pie” by Don Mclean
“Tom Sawyer” Rush. Or, any damned thing by Rush.
Any of these provokes panicked screaming just to drown out the possibility of any of them lining up with my brainwaves.
I could go on but just naming these is torture enough.
xo