A little background:
A long time ago, back when I had no child and a full-time job, I had a lot more disposable income, more free time, and thus I spent some cash on clothing. And, being me, most of it was black. At one point, I probably had about 20 black skirts; mostly straight and long, made from a variety of fabrics, but nonetheless fairly similar.
When it came time to pare down, I posed myself this question each time I took a black skirt from the closet and pondered whether to keep it:
Would I choose to wear this black skirt above all others at any time?
If the answer was yes, the item stayed in the Frampton (nee McLaughlin) wardrobe. If not, no matter how cute, or in what shape, or anything, it was gone.
I have since gone on to apply that theory to most everything in my life, most especially friends:
Would I choose to hang out with this person above all others, at any time?
If the answer is no, they’re not worth my effort. It doesn’t matter how nice they are, or how much they like me, or whatever; my life, and my real friends are worth my time, and my time is limited. I won’t hang out with people just because they asked if I can’t answer yes to the Black Skirt Question.
(I do the same thing to books, too, when I decide what to keep in the TBR pile). So when someone asks me an opinion about a friend, or a book, or an item of clothing, I ask them the same thing:
Would you choose to wear this skirt/read this book/hang out with this friend above all others at any time in your life?
It’s really easy, once you get the hang of it, and allow yourself not to be friends with every friendly person you might encounter.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh that’s good. Tough but very good. I hope to keep hanging in your closet.
You would think bonding over a tattoo would earn me a permanent spot on your closet. Dang! You mean I have to work it?!
What a great way to weed out unnecessary garbage in your life. This will be my motto from now on!
This sounds like very good advice, in closets or in life! I have not much spare time, with working and writing (though some people still do not understand that writing time is sacred time; if I don’t write, I don’t make my deadline!). I have to make that spare time count. And closet space, too. Will ask myself this question now.
Thanks for the feedback, ladies. It is an easy philosophy to envision, not always so easy to maintain. But worth aspiring to, I think.