Today is the Picky Vegetarian’s birthday! Do you know what I’ll be getting her? Good, ’cause NEITHER DO I! I will not be getting her:

eggplant

tofu

squash (inc. butternut, acorn, et al)

Owen Wilson (she prefers Luke)

a romance novel

a science fiction/fantasy novel

an action movie

a yappy dog

an item of clothing with any kind of ornamentation that might be called “girly”

natch, nothing pink

a cupcake without a good frosting

a purse

shoes that aren’t sneakers: That includes flats, slides, pumps, boots, etc.

make-up

pierced earrings

contact lenses

jewelry in general

meat

a slow cooker

an ‘improve your handwriting’ class; she has lovely handwriting already

a digital-only camera

an Alpha male

Clive Owen (see how that segues?)

reggae

disco

grungy, snarly stuff

a non-baseball cap

a trip to somewhere fabulous rather than far, far away; forget about England or France, she’s heading to Myanmar or Burkina Faso.

Angelina Jolie

an enormous party filled with people she doesn’t know

a dance club

Whew! Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for being my friend for so long, and so well.

Love,

Megan

PS: The present is coming. Promise.

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