Okay, so I’m all boo-hoo right now, not seriously so, mind you, but kinda overwhelmed, as per my particular course, and trying to get everything done without forgetting something, and then kinda defeated about how hard some things are.

But–in the midst of this, I am writing, and today I managed to write over 1,000 words, despite wanting to smother myself with a pillow. Yay!

I am more than halfway done with this book, and it’s proving to be a different process than previously: I am well aware that I am writing a ‘rough draft,’ and that one character, in particular, really needs to be drawn better. I can picture him in my head, but so far he’s a dud on page. A foxy dud, but a dud nonetheless.

I do wish I could just finish this thing so I could go back and fix it; I decided not to stop midway because I wasn’t sure how it will end, and I wanted to find that out first before I shaped that character. (Liam. His name is Liam. And he’s still an asshat, despite my trying to mold him into a hero. THAT, my friends, is how I roll).

But I can’t just snap my fingers and have it done, I have another 40,000 words to write (I have 45, 614 as of right this very minute), which is at least 40 days of writing, if I were to be so lucky as to have another good writing day like today. For the next 40 days.

Ruh-roh. Initial waves of overwhelming ‘I can never do it’ roiling up in gut now. Okay. Put that aside now.

As I was saying, once I finish this, I can go back and fix it. I like editing, actually, it’s fun to shape your words and laugh at your own cleverness or identify a problem, as long as you go and fix it.

So, yeah. Like a phoenix from the ashes of my despair, a brightly colored bird is rising. Or something.

Megan

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